


When there was us

by kwonstaar



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Christmas, M/M, Post-Break Up, SoonHoon were ex lovers, why did I do this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28310523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonstaar/pseuds/kwonstaar
Summary: Exactly one year after they broke up, Soonyoung came back.Is this the second chance Jihoon was hoping for?Or this is just another heartbreak for him?
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Kudos: 15





	When there was us

“Jihoon, aren’t you gonna come with us?” Jeonghan asked, walking towards the coat rack. He put on his coat and wrapped his black and red striped scarf around his neck. “We’re having a party at Seungcheol’s house.”

Jihoon took a few seconds before replying. “I still have something to finish.” he lied. He pretended to arrange the pillows on the couch as he waited for his friend to leave. 

“Working on Christmas day, huh?” The other guy shook his head. “You haven’t changed, Ji.”

“Work is just getting quite demanding these days.” Jihoon sighed. “I barely have time for myself.” 

“I can see that.” Jeonghan was the one who would usually visit Jihoon in his studio, bringing him food and other stuff. He knew how Jihoon would spend all-nighters just to finish the song he’s been working on. But there is nothing he can do but to support his friend with what makes him happy. 

_And distracted._

“But it's the holiday season, Ji. You should enjoy this day.” 

“Alright, I’ll catch up with you guys later.” Jihoon nonchalantly replied as he walked towards Jeonghan. 

“Jihoon.” Jeonghan stared at him. “You’re so bad at lying.”

“I’ll try to come.” Jihoon smiled and gave his friend a light push. 

“Keyword. _Try._ ” Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

Jihoon laughed. “You should leave now so I can get back to work.”

“Give me a call later!” 

“Sure.”

Jihoon sighed in relief when Jeonghan finally left his house. 

He tidied up his place before going back to his bedroom where he would spend most of his time. He is not in the mood to party nor go anywhere because he knows that he would not enjoy it. He was tired of giving his friend fake smiles and laughs. He’s tired of saying that he’s _‘ok’_ when he’s not. 

Christmas used to be indeed the most beautiful time of the year for him. 

But now, he just wanted this day to pass. There are so many memories attached to this day, it is almost heartbreaking to remember.

But he cannot help it. Just the thought of Christmas was enough to transport him through time. Back when they were still together.

_Back when there was still ‘them’._

Jihoon can still remember how Soonyoung would barge at his place, holding huge boxes on his hands that are filled with Christmas decorations. He would spend a few minutes convincing Soonyoung that he shouldn’t put up decorations anymore since dust would only accumulate and it would be hard to clean up later on. But of course, he will end up being defeated by his boyfriend’s reasons. 

_“Ji, this is only once a year. We should make this extra special.”_

Soonyoung would say that with a huge grin on his lips and eyes twinkling with so much excitement. _How can he even say no to that?_

Jihoon would even make hot chocolate for the two of them while Soonyoung keeps himself busy decorating the Christmas tree. Sometimes, Soonyoung would also ask Jihoon to make his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And the latter will, of course. 

Anything for _his_ Soonyoung. 

Jihoon can still remember how Soonyoung’s eyes would be filled with stars as they danced around the Christmas tree while wearing their Christmas themed pajamas and socks. Then once they get tired, they will cuddle beneath the blankets and watch _Home Alone_ for the nth time. 

But Jihoon’s most favorite part, although he won’t admit it, was how Soonyoung would trick him to stand under the mistletoe just to get a kiss from him. 

Jihoon smiled to himself. Everything was still so clear in his memory. They were so happily in love. 

But now, Jihoon would spend every day figuring out what went wrong. 

Jihoon hasn't spoken to Soonyoung after they parted ways. He just heard from one of their friends that Soonyoung moved to a new place. He was also doing a great job in his career as a professional choreographer and he had been traveling to different places doing dance workshops.

He was still carrying a wounded heart, but Jihoon was happy to know that Soonyoung was now successful and continuing to reach his dreams. 

Jihoon was just peacefully lying on his bed, thinking of a good excuse to tell his friends when his phone rang. He ignored it at first, thinking that it might be someone from work and he does not want to be disturbed. 

And it rang for the second time. 

Jihoon annoyingly grabbed his phone but then he panicked, his phone almost slipped out of his hands, when he saw the contact name on the screen.

_[My home.]_

Jihoon stared at the vibrating phone in his hands. He suddenly became nervous. He can’t think of anything to say. There’s just so much going on inside his head right now.

‘ _It’s just Soonyoung. There’s nothing to be nervous about.’ he tried to calm himself._

His thumb was shaking as he pressed the green button. Jihoon took a deep breath and cleared his throat before answering. “H-Hello?”

[Jihoon!] Soonyoung’s voice sounded quite cheerful. It’s been a while since Jihoon heard his voice. 

“Soonyoung...”

[How are you? Are you busy—ah sorry, you are probably busy today…] Jihoon felt something piercing his chest when he heard that. [But can I borrow some of your time?]

“I am fine.” _Lies._ “I am not busy, actually. I’m just taking some rest.”

[Taking some rest? Oh, I’m sorry to disturb you. Maybe I’ll just call some other time-]

“No! I mean... it’s fine.” He paused. “Do you need something?”

[Are you spending Christmas day alone?]

“Well…” Jihoon scratched his nape. “Jeonghan asked me if I could join them at Seungcheol’s house. They’re gonna have a party there, but I am not really planning to go.”

[Then, can I come?] The older guy asked.

Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows, confused. “Where?”

[There.]

“Here?! In my place?” Jihoon heard the guy on the other line chuckled. 

[Yeah. If it's fine with you.]

“My house is a mess.”

[Is it or you are just making an excuse?]

Jihoon was defeated once again. “Alright. You may come here.”

[I’ll bring lots of food. Don’t worry.]

“Do you need me to pick you up?”

[Nope, I’m fine. I can go there by myself.]

“Okay. See you.”

[See you.]

* * *

When Jihoon opened the door, he was greeted by a tall, dark-haired man. Jihoon stood frozen by the entrance. He was still dumbfounded. He cannot believe that Soonyoung was really in front of him. It almost felt like a dream. 

“I think you have to let me in.” Soonyoung lifted the plastic bags he was holding.

“Oh— yeah. Sorry. Come in.” Jihoon opened the door wider so Soonyoung could enter.

Soonyoung’s eyes wandered around Jihoon’s place and smiled to himself. But his lips turned into a frown when he looked at Jihoon. “Look at your house.” He clicked his tongue and shook his head. “It feels like it’s Halloween.” He went to the windows to open the curtains. 

Soonyoung then moved to the kitchen. He placed the paper bags containing food on the dining table. Jihoon was just following him around, looking like a lost cat. “Do you still have your Christmas decorations?”

“I think I kept some of them.” Jihoon replied. “I will go get them.”

“Just a few decorations will do.” 

Jihoon nodded before going to his room to get the box where he kept the Christmas decors. Soonyoung made himself comfortable on the couch. He was still busy looking around Jihoon’s place. It seemed like he, too, was having flashbacks inside his head.

“Jihoon.” Soonyoung called the smaller guy. There was a strange feeling inside him when he called his name. _It almost felt like someone tugged his heart._

Soonyoung was suddenly reminded of the last time he called Jihoon’s name.

_‘Jihoon.’ Soonyoung called the younger by his name. Tears fell down from his eyes at the same exact moment the snow started falling from the sky. ‘I’m letting you go.’_

Jihoon sat on the floor as he took the decorations outside the box. “Hmm?”

“It’s nice to see you again.”

Jihoon fell silent. “I will make hot chocolate.” He stood up and walked towards the kitchen, avoiding Soonyoung’s eyes.

“Oh! I miss that.” Soonyoung laughed. “Your hot chocolate is still the best.”

“You do the decorations. It’s your idea after all.”

“I know!” Soonyoung walked towards the box and continued where Jihoon left.

* * *

It was passed sunset when they finished decorating the place. There was a four-feet tall Christmas tree filled with colorful balls and lights. The star was actually missing so, Soonyoung took Jihoon’s polaroid camera, they took a picture together, then he clipped it on top of the Christmas tree.

The two of them were just chilling on the couch with blankets draped over their bodies while they consume their third can of beer. _Home Alone_ was playing on the television but neither of them was paying attention to it.

Jihoon received a few calls from his friends but when he finally said that he was with Soonyoung, they did not bother to call him once more. 

They had a nice chat. They spent the hours just catching up with each other’s lives. 

Soonyoung suddenly offered his hand to Jihoon. The latter was confused at first but he took Soonyoung’s hand without a second thought. They placed the cans of beer they were holding on the floor before standing up.

Soonyoung placed Jihoon’s arms on his shoulders then he wrapped his arms around the younger’s waist. And as if on cue, they started swaying their bodies side by side.

Jihoon hugged Soonyoung closer to his body. His scent… his warmth… he craved for every inch of him.

Soonyoung placed a soft kiss on Jihoon’s hair before pulling away. They were standing by the window. They can see how the whole city was painted with colorful lights. The streets were covered with white blankets of snow. People are greeting each other a ‘Merry Christmas’ and the kids are cheerfully playing snowball fights and making snowmen and snow angels.

_Once again, Christmas became the most beautiful time of the year for Jihoon._

Jihoon felt a warm hand on his cheek. Soonyoung was looking at him with soft eyes, while he brushed his cheek with his thumb. Jihoon looked up and saw the mistletoe hanging on top of them.

They smiled at each other, knowing what will happen next.

Soonyoung slowly leaned closer. Jihoon closed his eyes and waited for Soonyoung’s soft lips on his.

But instead of kissing him on the lips, Soonyoung placed his lips on Jihoon’s cheek. He kissed it twice before planting another kiss on Jihoon’s forehead.

“Jihoon, I am about to leave the country.” he softly said, leaving Jihoon dumbfounded. “I went here to say a proper goodbye.”

“You’re leaving me, again?” Jihoon’s voice cracked. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “Why?”

“There’s a good offer I can’t turn down.” Soonyoung replied.

Jihoon’s gripped the hems of Soonyoung’s shirt. “Soonyoung, I still love—”

“And I’m getting married.” 

_Ah…_

Jihoon saw the ring on Soonyoung’s finger a while ago but he just thought that it’s just some kind of an accessory. He did not know that it _is_ an engagement ring.

“Mingyu. It’s his name. He’s working as a model in the states. We met during one event. We started going out, dating. He’s.” Soonyoung paused. “He’s a very nice guy. Almost perfect.”

Jihoon saw the genuine smile painted on Soonyoung’s lips. “We dated for months, until he finally proposed. I’m going to move with him in the U.S.”

Jihoon hung his head low as he listened to Soonyoung. “He was there during my toughest day. He took care of me. He—”

“He gave you the time and the love I failed to give.” Jihoon finished Soonyoung’s sentence.

“Ji…”

“You don’t have to explain, Soonyoung. I understand. I’m quite foolish to think that we can get our second chance. But I guess, I’m too late.”

“Jihoon, I’m sorry.”

“You do not need to apologize. I’m happy that you found your happiness. I’m glad that you found someone who will treat you better.” Jihoon faked a smile. “Does he know that you’re here?”

Soonyoung replied with a nod. “I told him I cannot let a good friend spend Christmas alone.” Soonyoung softly chuckled. _Friends._ That’s what they are. Nothing more. Jihoon was even thankful because at least, Soonyoung still considered him as a friend after what happened between them. 

“You will find yours too, Jihoon.” He said it with pure sincerity. “Honestly, you should go out there and meet new people. Stop spending the holidays alone, Ji. You deserve someone who will make you happy.”

“That person will come at the right time.” Jihoon replied.

“And when that person comes, make sure to never let them go.” 

A long silence was heard. But Jihoon can clearly hear his heart slowly breaking into pieces once again. 

The next lines from Soonyoung shattered him. 

_"I will miss you, my home.”_

Jihoon bit his lips. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He did his best to keep himself from crying but he failed. Jihoon broke down in front of Soonyoung. Big, fat tears rolled from his eyes. 

Soonyoung enveloped Jihoon into a tight, warm hug. “Come here.” Tears are already forming in his eyes as well. He rested his chin on Jihoon’s shoulder as he gave the latter comforting pats. _“I’m sorry.”_

Jihoon continued sobbing his heart out. His hands clenched Soonyoung’s shirt tightly as if he’s begging him to stay. At that moment, Soonyoung wished for the time to stop. He wanted to stay with Jihoon. He wanted to fix what has been broken between them. 

_But it’s too late._

“I will— I will miss you too.” Jihoon said between his sobs. “You are still my home, Soonyoung. _You are and you will always be._ ”

Soonyoung cupped Jihoon’s cheeks and wiped his tears. “Don’t cry. I am not worth your tears anymore.”

Jihoon stopped himself from crying. Not for himself, but for Soonyoung. “When will you leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Then you should go home so you can rest.” The trails of tears were still visible on his cheeks but he did his best to smile. “I won’t be there to give my best wishes but I’ll call.”

“Sure. Mingyu would love to meet you.”

Soonyoung gathered his things before walking towards the door. “Merry Christmas, Ji.”

“Merry Christmas. Thank you for making this day special, Soonyoung.”

“You made this day special too. Take care of yourself, hm?” Soonyoung gave Jihoon one _last_ hug.

“I will. You too.”

“Bye, Ji.” Soonyoung waved his hand before stepping out of Jihoon’s house.

“Good bye, Soonie.” He watched the door close in front of him. “Till we meet again.”

* * *

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> This is my failed attempt to write english fic again ;; 
> 
> Feedbacks are appreciated! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Twitter: [ @hochimochi_ ](https://twitter.com/hochimochi_)


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